Of Diners, Drunken Padawans, and Finger Guns
by the-singular-peep
Summary: "How could you have not known that Meiloorun is intoxicating to Togruta?" Obi Wan sighed, tired of the duos antics. This night was not going the way anyone had planned it. [ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE.]


_Didnt proofread hahaa_

I'll go back and proof it, but for right now I just want to get it posted before the internet goes out again.

* * *

 _Of Diners, Drunken Padawans, and Finger Guns_

* * *

"But.. But what if I just... What if I just, like, sat on it? "

"No, Snips. Don't sit on it."

"But just.. Just _what if."_

It had been half an hour since Anakin and Ahsoka had begun walking back from dinner, and half an hour since Ahsoka had begun to act... Strange. Currently she was talking about a small astromech they had seen rolling the streets who looked like he may have possibly made a good seat.

The duo had decided that, to celebrate a recent victory, they would head down to the nearest Coroscanti diner to have real food rather than rations. It was a very exciting time for Ahsoka, and even Anakin, for that matter. It had been a very long time since they had gotten out and, thus, they had wanted to make the most of it. It was generally frowned upon to leave the temple for self-indulgent activities such as eating, but Anakin had decided that what any elders didn't know didn't hurt them.

And so, Anakin had bundled up himself and his Padawan and the two had gone to eat. They had arrived at an hour where not many people were in attendance and had gotten a good table with a beautiful view over the city they resided in.

"Master, I don't know what to get." Ahsoka said, wide eyed as she looked through the many pages of the menu. Anakin had forgotten; the young Togruta had never _been_ to a real restaurant before. Since she had only been under his care for three months, and the leaders of the Youngling Clans did not like to bend the rules even just a little, she had only actually left the temple for missions and a limited amount of extraciricular activity. Ahsoka, while excited, was also incredibly confused at all of the fancy language used on the menus. Anakin planned to help her decide on a few things, then if she was still hungry she could have something else. Sure, he didn't _really_ have the credits for it, but he didn't know when his Padawan would get to experience this again and he wanted her to enjoy herself.

"I can't eat any vegetables or anything. Or noodles, really. So pretty much just meat." Ahsoka said with a curious look, leaning over the table to get a good look at the Menu Anakin was holding. "I don't know what any of these words mean."

Anakin laughed. "That's fine, I'll get you something. Nothing but meat, right?" Ahsoka nodded. "And to drink, any specific allergies I need to know about?"

Ahsoka thought for a moment. "No, but I'd kind of like something.. I don't know, maybe fruity? All I've had, basically ever, is water. And I want to make the most of this. If you're okay with that, I mean," She quickly added, realizing that anything other than water was more expensive. Anakin grinned.

"Yeah, no problem. You can get whatever you want. Hmm, this sounds good. Never had it before. Do you like Meiloorun?"

Ahsoka nodded as a woman walked up to their table with a notepad.

"Do you have your drink orders?" The waitress, a fairly pretty Twi'lek woman with purple skin and a warm smile asked.

"Uhm, Yes, we'll have a glass of Meiloorun juice and a...You know what, just a water, please. That sound good, Snips?"

Ahsoka nodded, and the Twi'lek woman smiled.

"That'll be right up."

* * *

"Slow down, kid," Anakin chuckled. They had gotten their food very quickly with good service, and, after inspecting her food carefully, Ahsoka's predator instinct had shown itself and she was now ripping into her meal. She stopped suddenly, startled eyes looking up slowly to meet his. Her lekku darkened slightly and she swallowed, leaning back a little and tucking her small fangs back behind her lips.

"Sorry.. I know manners are a big part of a Jedi's role, but.."

"No, it's totally fine. I remember my first trip to a real diner, I ate three full meals _and_ off of Obi Wan's plate. Poor guy was cleaning up my puke for hours that night. But I'd totally do it again. That was some good food."

Ahsoka giggled slightly, then took a polite bite of her food with a fork.

"How're you enjoying it? Pretty well, I presume?" Anakin laughed, taking a bite of his own food. Ahsoka grinned.

"Yeah, it's really, really good. Especially compared to protein bars and water. The juice is kind of...different, but I like it. Very tangy."

She took another bite of her meal, and Anakin smiled. It was good to see Ahsoka happy during this war.

* * *

"Master, I... I want a million ducks." Ahsoka hiccupped, moving on from the chair-like droid as her walking becoming staggered and she lagged behind Anakin. She then began to giggle at her own mistake, "I...I mean, I mean ducks," She burst into another fit of giggles which, Anakin couldn't lie, were somewhat adorable coming from the youngling's small mouth. She was sullen too much and it was great to see her smile, but if this was how, Anakin didn't know if he liked it. He didn't know _how_ she had managed to get her hands on alcohol, but it was unmistakably clear that she had. Possibly the tropical name of her drink had meant it wasn't for minors, but the waitress had obviously decided against telling them if it was alcoholic or not. I guess it was fair; she probably assumed it was for him. But still. Ahsoka was now incredibly and truly drunk. _Everything_ was funny now; whether it be how Anakin's boots clicked when he walked or how her lekku swished by her face when she tilted her head.

Anakin groaned. No way was he going to get this past any Jedi Master. And no doubt they would blame him for the diner's mistake.

"Come on, Snips. Keep up."

The girl simply giggled, a drunken, bubbly laugh, that made Anakin cringe even more than he already was. He was _so_ getting in trouble with the council when they got back. Simply being publicly intoxicated was illegal, but being a publicly intoxicated _Jedi_ was even more frowned upon. But as long as he got her back to the temple with no trouble, there was a very small chance they could slip in unnoticed and get back to their quarters without a problem. A very, _very_ small chance.

And that small chance was demolished when they saw a very stern looking Obi Wan walking up to them with his arms crossed.

"Is that the police?" Ahsoka gasped in a mock-whisper, her mouth close to Anakin's ear. He could smell the fruity scent of the alcohol on her breath. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was forming the shape of an extended 'O' as she whispered.

"Obi Wan." Anakin smiled, pushing Ahsoka behind him and ignoring her confused yelp. "Wh-What are you doing out?"

The older Jedi glared.

"Looking for you and your Padawan, Anakin. We have been trying to get in touch with you for hours. Have you had your com off?" Anakin's face was that of a toddler caught smuggling cookies before dinner.

"Oh, haha, it must have, uhm, must have gotten clicked off during dinner. I'll - I'll fix that." Anakin reached to his belt clip to flip the comlink on, his other hand trying to keep Ahsoka hidden behind him. Maybe in the dark Obi Wan wouldn't be able to tell she was there...

"Yes, I suppose you will." Obi Wan's arms were still crossed. "And where is your lovely Padawan this evening?"

It was nearly obvious that the master knew of the youngling behind him, but Anakin was using every shred of faith he had left to hope that he did not.

"Oh, you know, she's - She's around," Anakin stuttered, pinching Ahsoka when she began to protest.

"Oh? She's not with you?"

"Nope!" Anakin laughed, "No clue where the little scamp got off to."

"Master, is that - is that a police man?" Ahsoka whispered loudly, a hiccup breaking her sentence into two parts. Anakin groaned and made a face. He pulled Ahsoka's arm to where she was in front of him.

"Surprise?" He tried. Obi Wan shook his head 'no'.

"We were, uh, we were just out for a meal - I mean, this one's never been out of the temple for anything nice, right, Snips?"

"Obi Wan, are you a policeman?" Ahsoka asked loudly, he face confused as her eyes tried to see through the dark. She simply could not fathom why another Jedi would be out this late - the only liable option in her mind being that she and Anakin had committed a crime, and Anakin was only hiding her because this was an officer. No one answered, so she did the only thing her drunken mind thought logical.

"Kriff the police!" She shouted, arms flailing high as she grabbed Anakin's hand and attempted to run. She only succeeded, however, in moving herself half an inch before her feet slid backwards and she landed flat on her face. Anakin did not move at all, the hand that was not holding Ahsoka's trying desperately to hide his face.

"Anakin Skywalker, did you get this child drunk?" Obi Wan said sternly, his face incredibly cross.

"What, no, she's fine, she just - Just tired, is all." Anakin smiled nervously, pulling Ahsoka to her feet with one arm. "We've had a late night, you know, so we should really just be heading back to the temple and -"

With that, Ahsoka doubled over and threw up all over Obi Wan's shoes.

The man glowered. "Tired _and_ ill, I presume?"

Anakin groaned, still holding Ahsoka up with one arm and covering his face with the other.

"Fine. You got us. I'll explain everything on the way back, but... Can you maybe help me with her?"

* * *

"How could you have not known that Meiloorun is intoxicating to Togruta?" Obi Wan said, exasperated at the duos antics. They were in the temple speeder Obi Wan had taken now, Ahsoka being very fascinated with Anakin's hair from behind them as they neared the temple.

"I don't know! I'm not an expert! Maybe _someone_ should have thought it through a little better when they gave me a Padawan of a different _species!"_ Obi Wan winced.

"Don't get loud, now, Anakin. Ahsoka already has to suffer enough from your mistake."

"My mi- O-oh, don't you start that with me!" Anakin shouted in a barely-retained whisper. He crossed his arms at the warning look his former master gave him. "Fine. Whatever."

"You can stop pouting, Anakin, and start worrying about how to get our drunken friend into the temple without drawing attention to ourselves. We have arrived."

"Great." Anakin rolled his eyes and turned around to Ahsoka, who looked rather offended at having the hair she was playing with turn to where she could not reach it.

"C'mon, kid. Up you go." He hoisted the Togruta onto his shoulder as he stood, listening to her sounds of amazement and wonder at suddenly being up so high.

"Where're we going?" She mumbled, "Are we going on an adventure?"

Anakin sighed. "You could call it that."

Getting up the steps to the temple wasn't as hard as they had imagined, and getting up to the second level wasn't that hard, either. At this hour, nearly every Jedi was either sleeping or meditating, so they didn't run into much interference until the passed the library.

"Oh! Master Kenobi, Master Skywalker, I didn't see you there." Barriss Offee said politely, giving them a brief curtsy as she apologized for nearly running into them.

"Padawan Offee." Obi Wan responded, nodding in acceptance to her curtsy. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

"I'm just finishing up on some light research." She said politely, gesturing to the large pile of books in her arms. If Anakin was in less of a predicament at the moment, he would say something about how that was far from 'light research'. "Masters, if you don't mind the question, is Padawan Tano, uhm, alright?"

Anakin internally groaned, realizing too late that of course the girl would notice her friend flung over his shoulder. She was a very observant Padawan.

"Oh, she had a bit of a night and is in need of slight medical attention. Nothing to worry about, your friend will be fine." The older Jedi nodded at the Padawan being carried by his former apprentice, then smiled at the one in front of him. "I believe you should be off; Master Luminara must be quite worried at your breaking of curfew."

A sudden realization hit Barriss' face as if she hadn't known how late it had gotten.

"Yes, I believe you're right. Thank you, Masters. Goodnight." The Mirilian curtsied again, then began walking in the opposite direction of the three.

"Barrie!" Ahsoka shouted, her voice quieter than a normal shout, but still quite loud. Anakin chose this as a good time to show of his fake cough and attempted to cover up the yell and pretend he hadn't noticed.

Obi Wan also pretended he didn't see the finger guns Ahsoka made at Barriss from over Anakin's shoulder as they walked away, and they both pretended they didn't hear the "pew pew" noise she made as she wiggled her eyebrows at the girl, and they also both pretended they didn't notice the startled "Oh!" Barriss let out as they walked away.

Thankfully, their little meeting with the Padawan was their only mishap on the journey back to Anakin and Ahsoka's quarters.

Obi Wan pressed the button for the door and allowed Anakin to carry Ahsoka through before he followed them in and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Ahsoka, stop - no, stop - get your hand of off my belt, no, you don't need a saber right now - Ahsoka, _no."_

Obi Wan laughed as quietly as he could possibly manage. He knew revenge wasn't the Jedi way, but this was just very good payback for all of the times he had dealt with a purposefully drunken Anakin when the boy was a Padawan.

With a loud _clink,_ Obi Wan looked up and far too late said a warning, "Watch out for that oil can, Anakin."

Really, the boy should learn to clean up after himself, because no there was a large puddle of oil in the middle of the floor, and Anakin's hands were too full to reach down and stop it from happening.

Ahsoka gasped loudly, her eyes wide and her mouth once again making that extended 'o' shape. Obi Wan wasn't sure, but he was nearly positive he could see tears welling in her blue eyes.

"Master, is that a dead rainbow?!" She cried, pointing to the puddle of oil on the stone floor where the overhead light was hitting it just right as she began to flail her legs. Obi Wan couldn't blame her. It did look quite similar to a deceased rainbow.

"I believe I'll leave you to tend to your apprentice." Obi Wan said with a smile as he slipped out the door.

"Wait, Obi Wan, no you can't-" Anakin sighed. "Aaaand he's gone. Well. Looks like it's just you and me, Drunky McPuke Face."

Ahsoka giggled.

Anakin sighed.

* * *

After an hour of cleaning vomit from his back, Ahsoka's face, and the one clean laundry basket they had (How she had managed to be sick onto _all_ of the sheets baffled him), Anakin finally had Ahsoka lying on the couch quietly with a waste basket by her side.

"Goodness, kid, you really have outdone yourself this time." He said, plopping down beside her head. She moaned, scooting a little closer to her Master and setting her head in his lap.

She moaned, curling in on herself.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Master..." Ahsoka mumbled. She was crying now, as so many drunken children do. "I-I mean, you did so good, you j-just, thank youuuu,,," She whined, sobbing into Anakin's leg. He sighed, and set a hand on her back, rubbing it lightly.

"Sure thing, Snips."

She mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Even if it was your fault in the first place..."

Anakin made a truly offended face, and Ahsoka began snoring.


End file.
